Last Sunday morning, during a group meditation at the dojo, I received an image of my BMW lying on its left side. There was no sense of an impact, it was just lying there as if it had gone to sleep. This image had not faded by Monday late afternoon when I normally get ready to ride to Berkeley. I drove the car instead.

I mentioned this disturbing image to the women I train with. We hypothesized that the bike was a symbol for me, and the left side apparently corresponds to the "female" aspect of the body. In a desperate attempt to find some explanation for the image (and make it go away), I concluded that it was confirmation that I'm experiencing a "bloodless period".

As I continue in the perimenopausal phase of my life, I'm having periods where I still experience the abdominal bloat, low-back tightness, grumpiness, and general lack of focus, but I'm not bleeding anymore. I've been so grumpy that I don't appreciate that I'm no longer dumping quarts of blood every month. It is pretty sad not being able to following through with an intent. I've opened the refrigerator to microwave food, I've attempted to put dirty laundry in the dishwasher. But I digress.

So, image resolved, right? Wrong. After returning from morning class Peter left his bike in the middle of the garage and took the car to work. I thought I would move his bike so that he could just drive in when he gets home instead of having to get out of the car and reposition the bike. You've already figured it out by now, I'm sure. I thought the kickstand was down. Where does a 483-pound sport/touring bike go to sleep? Wherever it wants to. All I could do was be grateful for the cardboard boxes that sacrificed themselves to protect the fairing. I had to leave the bike where it was, lying on its left side, peaceful as could be. I'm dying of humiliation. Peter came home early so I could help him lift up the bike.

Although I put the hand guards on the BMW days ago, I haven't felt focused enough to ride and try them out. The highways will be safe tonight, I'll be staying home.

The hand guards seem to be working. I arrived home from Berkeley at 9pm without frozen fingertips. The real test will be in February, but at least it appears that I didn't crimp any wires when I did the installation.

The track work this year shows in my comfort on the bike. Focus for next year will be learning to pass.